During recent training at Safe Harbor we addressed various topics including reasons why there is such a significant problem with domestic violence, rape and sexual assault.  I don't claim to have THE answer.  I just hope to help make people around me aware.

Did you know that  by the age of eighteen, 1 in 4 women will have been raped or sexually assaulted?  Below is part of family photos taken a couple of years ago.  Take a look at me and the girls.  Cute, right?!?  Now repeat the statistic I just shared with you: 1 in 4 women will have been raped or sexually assaulted by the time they turn 18 years old.  Which one of us will it be?

I use this picture to help make it more real.  I am in no way saying that this has happened to us, I am just using the picture as an example.  As a society we tend to think, "Not my kids", "Not in our community", "That only happens in low socioeconomic classes", or "It only happens with (insert a race here)".  Well it does happen and more often than anyone would ever guess.  Ninety of every 100 victims know their attacker.  We often have the perception of an attacker as the stereotypical  guy in the bushes jumping out at a girl in the middle of the night.  And while that does happen, it is rare.

I have an issue with advertising.  It is an issue that has bothered me long before my recent training.  Advertising and marketing has become so overly sexualized where women and young girls are objectified and portrayed in ways that are fantasized and simply not real.  Our overtly sexual advertising and marketing is one of the things that contributes to a consistent rise in domestic violence, rape and sexual assault.

We tend to observe more with our eyes more than any other of our physical senses.  And while we may hear good things or talk about good and uplifting things, our eyes are bombarded with visual messages of women and girls of a sexual nature, and of how we are supposed to look and act.  Go through the social media posts of  girlfriends and the young women in your life.  What messages do you think they are giving and/or receiving??  How do we often pose or act through social media?  It's safe to say that women and girls are falling prey to what they see.  I don't think a lot of us realize it.  Like I said, I don't have THE solution.  Watch this clip with your girlfriends, daughters or whole family and then LET'S TALK  ABOUT IT.  Talking is probably the  best solution.  Become aware and talk about it.  Ask the questions: "Why is this wrong"?  "How does it make you feel"?  "What can we do to not fall into this"?

Side note: watch it alone first before deciding to watch with others.  It's not inappropriate, but depending on the ages of those you may want to watch it with, it may be a bit graphic .

Have you seen positive e-cards or quotes about dressing modestly or loving your curves in the feeds of your social media?  Not so much, right??  We want to love our curves and realize that we don't have to dress immodestly to get attention, but too often see posts like the following:

"LOVE YOUR CURVES!"

Do you see what I see?  I see a woman in a modest bathing suit but she is posed provocatively, in various ways that portray her as sexual.  The quote may say to love your curves but the image is sending a totally different message.  Just something to think about.