Confession

This last week was not good with my diet.   I haven't counted calories but that isn't my confession.   From Tuesday night to Wednesday afternoon,  I ate a package of Chips a Hoy cookies.  

Yes.  The whole package.
By myself.

This was something I did weekly during my first marriage.   That relationship was very abusive and food is how I coped.   Cookies were my favorite way of coping.

I guess that this week,  that is how I coped.  Nothing has really happened.   I have a lot on my plate,  B and I have a lot on our plates.   Just like everyone else.   I've felt overwhelmed lately and that is how I coped.   I haven't done that kind of eating in YEARS. 

I threw the package away deep in the garbage can.   I didn't want B to know.   Not because he would care.   But because I needed to hide it.  I didn't want him or anyone to know.   I realized that eating the bag of cookies isn't the real issue.   It was that I was hiding it.   So,  I told Jake.  I told B.  Now I told you, whoever "you" are.   I'm not going to let old ways of coping creep back in.  I'm also not going to beat myself up about the cookies.   I'm overt it.